jasolator

 - Jesus loves you, and is going to see that you burn in hell forever

- Nehemiah begat Azriel.  Azriel begat Abuchadnezzer.  Abuchadnezzer
begat Schomelek.  Schomelek begat Robert Smith.  Robert Smith begat
The Cure.  The Cure begat Goth.  Goth begat Marylin Manson.  Marylin
Manson begat bad videos on MTV.  MTV begat a killing in royalties.
Royalties begat Judith.  Judith begat Hymie.  Hymie made quite a
killing on a string of 7-11s in Pittsburgh.  Pittsburgh begat a
booming steel industry.  Steel begat an auto industry.  The auto
industry begat growth economics.  Growth economics begat Ronald
Reagan.  Ronald Reagan begat a monkey.  A monkey begat your mommy.
Your mommy begat your daddy, who then begat you on your mommy, which
begat a paradox.  You begat a banana.  A banana begat Noah.  Noah
begat an ark then Noah's daughters begat on Noah.  Noah thought that
was a nice arrangement.  God begat Noah.  God begat Jesus but we
aren't supposed to ask how.  Jesus begat a religion but we aren't
supposed to ask why.  Jesus was a virgin but we aren't supposed to
think about that much.  It is not right to think about the Penis of
the Saviour of the World.  Jesus came to save us all by inventing the
idea of eternal hellfire because otherwise he wouldn't have anything
to save us from.  Eternal hellfire begat a lot of very holy baptist
ministers who aren't virgins but they feel just awful about it and
think you should be one.  The southern baptists begat a return to good
ol' religion which begat Ronald Reagan again.  Just like Arkansas
cousins.  They aren't virgins either but they feel just awful about it
for ten minutes every sunday.  Which in turn begat country music.
Country music begat the back-assward voter bloc.  The back-asswards
voter bloc begat Ronald Reagan again.  Ronald Reagan begat a gay son
but he feels just awful about it.  Then Pharaoh told unto Ronald
Reagan "get ye hence", and Ronald Reagan walked on water and bailed
out the day traders.  Then Anwar Sadat got blowed up.  Then the Berlin
wall got blowed up.  Then Clinton got elected.

And that's where the bible ends.

But then Dubya got elected and tried to make Apocalypses (tm) happen
in Iraq but Jesus didn't come back.

And Dubya is still scratching his head.

And that's where the bible ends again.

It's all Rumsfeld's fault.


--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"Hell is just like here, except the dogs can whistle."
--George Carlin