Anna Nicole Smith

Why Anna Nicole Smith is a Subgenius Saint

  1. She spent her life slacking, and did not conform to the
expectations of others
  2. she achieved fame and fortune not through hard work or
intelligence, but basically through dumb holy luck
  3. As we can tell from photos of her, she ate the hell out of her
fair share of cheeseburgers
  4. She was martyed by the Pinks, after being crucified in the press
  5. Like St. Mary of the Xtians, her child is a "Son of Man". Unlike
Mary, who claimed that no mortal was the father of her child, It seems
like EVERY male (and perhaps a few female) mortals are claiming to be
the father of her child. I predict that this child shall be a prophet
of the Subgenius. We should endevour to make this happen.
  6. She was at times pretty and sexy, so venerating her would be a
good draw, which is the prime reason for venerating anybody.